Ahoy, mateys! If you’ve ever found yourself daydreaming about plundering treasure and sailing the high seas, chances are you’ve crossed paths with some of the Funny Pirate Sayings. Honestly, I can’t remember the first time I said “Arrr!”—but I know I sounded way cooler than I looked. Funny Pirate Sayings is more than just a fun language; it’s a lifestyle! And nothing says “we’re ready to take over the world” like International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Whether you’re genuinely into pirates or you just want to stir up some laughs, this guide to Funny Pirate Sayings will have you speaking like a true swashbuckler in no time.

1. “Arrr! Shiver me timbers!”

Okay, let’s start with the classics. If you’re ever caught off guard or just want to be extra about something, shout out, “Arrr! Shiver me timbers!” and watch how people react. It’s the pirate equivalent of saying, “Well, I’ll be darned!” or “Whoa!”

I remember the first time I heard someone say this in person. It was my buddy Jake during a disastrous camping trip. Lightning struck in the distance, and as we were trying to set up a tent, he yelled it so dramatically that even the raccoons ran for cover. Totally unnecessary, but hey, if you’re gonna make an entrance, this is the way to do it.

Why it works: Picture this: your ship’s timbers rattling like they’re about to snap in half, and you’re still somehow grinning. That’s what makes it funny. Pirates shouldn’t be surprised about anything, right? But here they are, acting like a squirrel just ran off with their lunch.

2. “Ye be a scallywag!”

This one cracks me up every time. “Scallywag” sounds like a word your grandmother would use to scold you for sneaking cookies. Except Funny Pirate Sayings used it to describe someone who was up to no good. A scallywag might steal your treasure, start a bar fight, or just generally be annoying. Either way, it’s a word that packs a punch, even though it feels like a term of endearment more than an insult.

Quick story: My cousin Ethan used to sneak the remote when we were kids and then “pretend” he was changing the channel. It got old fast, so one day I finally turned to him and said, “Stop acting like a scallywag!” He blinked twice, went “Huh?” and immediately sat down to let me pick the show. Not the most epic of victories, but I’ll take it.

Why it works: “Scallywag” is ridiculous. It sounds like something out of an old cartoon. Try saying it with a straight face—you can’t. It’s pure fun.

3. “Blimey, that’s a fine ship!”

Ever seen something that made your jaw drop, but you couldn’t find the words to describe it? Pirates had the perfect solution: “Blimey!” As in, “Blimey, that’s a fine ship!” It’s like saying “Whoa!” but with 10 times more flair. Whether you’re admiring a boat, a person’s new shoes, or, I don’t know, an oddly perfect grilled cheese sandwich, this phrase brings the drama.

The first time I said it, it was about a pizza. Yes, a pizza. I was sitting at Tony’s Pizzeria in Philly, taking in a slice that could only be described as “heavenly”—and suddenly I blurted out, “Blimey, that’s a fine pizza!” The waiter looked at me like I was nuts, but I wasn’t backing down. It was a fine pizza.

Why it works: It’s ridiculously dramatic. Who wouldn’t want to be dramatically impressed by something? It’s like making a mundane compliment sound like you’re about to embark on an adventure.

4. “Walk the plank!”

Let me tell you about this one. Pirates used to make enemies “walk the plank,” which basically meant “get over the edge and meet the ocean.” In Funny Pirate Sayings, this meant they were about to do something dangerous—except now we’ve all hijacked it for everyday use. I use it on my friends all the time when they try to avoid doing the dishes.

Example: “You’re really gonna make me do the dishes after that massive lasagna disaster? Walk the plank, mate.” It’s a great way to get laughs while subtly threatening to push someone into a sea of responsibility.

Why it works: You know exactly what it means—get out of here. But, when you add it into a casual situation, it’s ridiculous and playful. Pirates didn’t just walk people out to a lovely sunset. They threw ‘em into the deep end. (Literally.)

5. “Aye aye, captain!”

You’ve probably heard this one a million times. You might’ve even said it yourself, often while you’re reluctantly agreeing to some random chore. But pirates didn’t use “Aye aye, captain!” for doing the laundry; they used it when they were ready to conquer an entire ocean.

The best part? It sounds way cooler than saying “Sure” or “Okay.” In my head, every time I say it, I’m practically steering a ship through a storm. In reality, I’m usually just accepting the task of folding towels. Not as thrilling, but it’s the energy that counts.

Why it works: The enthusiasm. You say it like you’re about to board a ship and plunder the highest mountain of gold. In reality, you’re probably just getting your friends to agree to a movie night. Either way, it feels like a mini victory.

6. “Pirate’s life for me!”

I was once at a “Talk Like a Pirate Day” event where someone shouted this out after I asked if anyone wanted to come hiking. The response was immediate: “Pirate’s life for me!” And I swear, if you could bottle the level of drama this phrase comes with, it’d be worth its weight in gold.

You’ll hear this a lot in movies or even in Pirates of the Caribbean—but in reality? No one’s giving up their comfy bed to live on a ship surrounded by sea monsters and storms. Honestly, I learned that the hard way during a backyard camping trip when a tent collapsed, and I screamed Funny Pirate Sayings life for me!” to no one in particular, before crying for my real bed.

Why it works: It’s a dramatic declaration that works perfectly in both real-life tough situations or hilariously over-the-top ones. And hey, it’s a fun way to say, “I’m going full throttle into this crazy thing.”

7. “No quarter!”

This phrase sounds more serious than it actually is. “No quarter” means no mercy, typically given to someone captured during a fight. It’s the pirate version of saying, “No excuses,” or “Tough luck!” Like, when you’re debating who gets the last slice of pizza—no quarter, bro. You better earn it.

Fun memory: A few years back, my friend Dave tried to “negotiate” the last slice of pizza by saying, “We could just split it.” I looked at him, smiled, and said, “No quarter, mate.” He paused, then dramatically handed it over. Funny Pirate Sayings rule everything, even pizza.

Why it works: It’s a serious-sounding phrase that you can slap onto the most trivial of situations and still get a laugh. Plus, it’s kind of a power move.

8. “Sail ho!”

This phrase is used by sailors when they spot another ship. Nowadays, you could shout “Sail ho!” if you’re spotting a friend at the park or spotting your favorite snack in the grocery store aisle. Doesn’t matter what it is—it’s about making the moment feel epic.

Last summer, I was at Target looking for candles when, out of nowhere, I spotted the last jar of Pumpkin Spice in the back corner. Without thinking, I screamed, “Sail ho!” People stared. I smiled. Mission accomplished.

Why it works: It’s a phrase for when you spot something or someone important, but using it in a casual moment gives it this larger-than-life, swashbuckling vibe. It’s a fun way to say, “I see you, and I’m excited.”

9. “Take the wind out of me sails!”

Oh boy. This one hit me during my attempt at baking bread. I’d spent all day perfecting this loaf, and when I finally took it out of the oven, it was flatter than a pancake. Naturally, I turned to my kitchen mate and said, “Well, you’ve taken the wind out of me sails with that one.”

Why it works: It’s funny because Funny Pirate Sayings shouldn’t be deflated, but this phrase makes it sound like their entire existence just got reduced to a pile of soggy bread. Totally dramatic. And yes, I’ve said it multiple times since then.

10. “Dead men tell no tales.”

If you want to sound extra menacing, toss out this phrase. It’s got that classic Funny Pirate Sayings vibe where you definitely wouldn’t want to cross the person saying it. But in practice? It’s mostly used in a joking context, like if you’re trying to tease someone about keeping a secret or pretending to have super mysterious info.

Fun fact: I’ve used this line more than once to get my friends to stop asking about where I hide the candy. It’s the perfect mix of dramatic and hilarious.